A little old grand-pa goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I have this problem with gas, but it doesn't really bother me too much. They never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was farting because they don't smell and are silent."
The doctor says, "I see. Here's a prescription. Take these pills 3 times a day for seven days and come back to see me next week."
The next week the grand-pa goes back. "Doctor," he says, "I don't know what the hell you gave me, but now my farts ... although still silent... stink terribly."
The doctor says, "Good! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's start working on your hearing."
12/10/2008
11/20/2008
10/22/2008
Driver's License
A six-year-old girl asks her mother, - "Mommy, how old are you?"The mother replies, - "Honey, that's a very personal question. Youare not supposed to ask a woman her age."Then she asks, - " How much do you weigh?"
The mother says, - "Honey, that is also a personal question. Peopledon't want to be asked about their weight."
The girl goes on, - "Mommy, why did you and daddy get a divorce?"
The mother says, - "That's a very sensitive subject. When you areolder, I'll tell you."
The next day, the girl goes to the kindergarten and tells her friendabout the conversation she had with her mother. Her friend says, -"That's easy!! Look at her driver's license. You can find all theinformation in there."
So the girl finds her mother's driver's license in her purse, looks atit for a while, smiles big, and runs to her mother. - "Mommy, mommy, Iknow how old you are! You are 32! I know how much you weigh, too! Youweigh 130 pounds! And I also know why you got a divorce! You got an"F" in sex! "
The mother says, - "Honey, that is also a personal question. Peopledon't want to be asked about their weight."
The girl goes on, - "Mommy, why did you and daddy get a divorce?"
The mother says, - "That's a very sensitive subject. When you areolder, I'll tell you."
The next day, the girl goes to the kindergarten and tells her friendabout the conversation she had with her mother. Her friend says, -"That's easy!! Look at her driver's license. You can find all theinformation in there."
So the girl finds her mother's driver's license in her purse, looks atit for a while, smiles big, and runs to her mother. - "Mommy, mommy, Iknow how old you are! You are 32! I know how much you weigh, too! Youweigh 130 pounds! And I also know why you got a divorce! You got an"F" in sex! "
關於性別笑話的不正確版本
我最近看到一則笑話︰
少婦把老公的遊艇開到湖中央，撐起洋傘，悠閒地看書喝果汁。
湖濱警察來了︰「小姐，這裡禁止垂釣，你被罰款三千元」
少婦︰「什麼跟什麼，我又沒有垂釣」
警察︰「你有作案工具」（手指著船艙裡的釣魚裝備）
少婦︰「那我要告你強暴」
警察︰「什麼？」
少婦︰「因為你有作案工具」
雖然我不是性別研究者，但我立刻就發現了其中蘊含的扭曲的性別刻板印象。這樣的笑話還能夠繼續流傳，代表在現代社會中，性別尊嚴依然是遭到踐踏的。
我建議，該笑話應該被這個版本取代︰
少婦把老公的遊艇開到湖中央，撐起洋傘，悠閒地看書喝果汁。
湖濱警察來了︰「小姐，這裡禁止垂釣，你被罰款三千元」
少婦︰「什麼跟什麼，我又沒有垂釣」
警察︰「你有作案工具」（手指著船艙裡的釣魚裝備）
少婦︰「那我要告你強暴」
警察︰「什麼？」
少婦︰「因為你有作案工具」
警察︰「......」
警察︰「那我也要告你強暴」
少婦把老公的遊艇開到湖中央，撐起洋傘，悠閒地看書喝果汁。
湖濱警察來了︰「小姐，這裡禁止垂釣，你被罰款三千元」
少婦︰「什麼跟什麼，我又沒有垂釣」
警察︰「你有作案工具」（手指著船艙裡的釣魚裝備）
少婦︰「那我要告你強暴」
警察︰「什麼？」
少婦︰「因為你有作案工具」
雖然我不是性別研究者，但我立刻就發現了其中蘊含的扭曲的性別刻板印象。這樣的笑話還能夠繼續流傳，代表在現代社會中，性別尊嚴依然是遭到踐踏的。
我建議，該笑話應該被這個版本取代︰
少婦把老公的遊艇開到湖中央，撐起洋傘，悠閒地看書喝果汁。
湖濱警察來了︰「小姐，這裡禁止垂釣，你被罰款三千元」
少婦︰「什麼跟什麼，我又沒有垂釣」
警察︰「你有作案工具」（手指著船艙裡的釣魚裝備）
少婦︰「那我要告你強暴」
警察︰「什麼？」
少婦︰「因為你有作案工具」
警察︰「......」
警察︰「那我也要告你強暴」
6/13/2008
Father & Son
An English guy was very ill and his son went to visit him in the hospital.
Suddenly, the father began to breathe heavily and grabbed the pen and pad by
the bed. With his last ounce of strength he wrote a note, dropped it, and
died.
The son was so overcome with grief that he didn't remember slipping the note
into his pocket. At the funeral, he reached into the pocket of his coat and
immediately felt the note. He excitedly read it thinking it might be
something he could recite during the service. It said:
YOU WANKER -- GET OFF MY OXYGEN PIPE!!!
Suddenly, the father began to breathe heavily and grabbed the pen and pad by
the bed. With his last ounce of strength he wrote a note, dropped it, and
died.
The son was so overcome with grief that he didn't remember slipping the note
into his pocket. At the funeral, he reached into the pocket of his coat and
immediately felt the note. He excitedly read it thinking it might be
something he could recite during the service. It said:
YOU WANKER -- GET OFF MY OXYGEN PIPE!!!
5/02/2008
Geoge died
Georege died in a fire. He's badly burn and can't be recognized.Thus, cop called his two friends, Mike and John, to identify George.When Mike came and saw the body. He told the cop "Flip him over."
Cop did what he said. Mike looked at George's butt and said "no, not George."Cop asked "how can u be sure?" Mike answered, "Cuz George has two assholes."Then it's John's turn. John said the same thing, "Flip him over."Cop fliped the body. John looked at George's butt and said "no, that's not him."Cop asked "how can u be sure?" John said "Cuz George has two assholes."
The cops were confused and called both Mike and John.The captain said "Are you sure that's not George."Both answered "Yeah". The captain said "cuz he has two assholes? how?"Mike and John said "Whenever three of us go to village, we always hear people said 'lo, there comes George with those two assholes!"
Cop did what he said. Mike looked at George's butt and said "no, not George."Cop asked "how can u be sure?" Mike answered, "Cuz George has two assholes."Then it's John's turn. John said the same thing, "Flip him over."Cop fliped the body. John looked at George's butt and said "no, that's not him."Cop asked "how can u be sure?" John said "Cuz George has two assholes."
The cops were confused and called both Mike and John.The captain said "Are you sure that's not George."Both answered "Yeah". The captain said "cuz he has two assholes? how?"Mike and John said "Whenever three of us go to village, we always hear people said 'lo, there comes George with those two assholes!"
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